How to Talk to Your Loved Ones About Your Anxiety and Depression: A Step-by-Step Guide
Living with anxiety and depression is already challenging, but it's even harder when you feel like you have to go through it alone. One of the most effective ways to cope with these conditions is to talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling!! <3 Having conversations about your mental health can feel intimidating, especially if you're not sure how to start the discussion or if you're worried about how the other person might react.
But by allowing yourself to open up, you can get the support and encouragement you need to manage your symptoms and work towards recovery. We’re going to take you step-by-step on how to navigate this convo - everything from how do you start it and what should you say!
Step 1: Identify the Right Person to Talk to
When it comes to talking about your anxiety and depression, it's important to choose the right person to confide in. You'll want to choose someone who you trust, who will listen without judgment, and who will be supportive and understanding. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone who may not particularly understand could leave you feeling more discouraged.
Generally these are some good choices for you:
A close friend or family member: someone who you trust and who has been there for you in the past!
A therapist or mental health professional: someone who is trained to help you navigate these feelings and can provide expertise guidance and support!
A support group: a group of people who are going through similar struggles and can offer empathy, support, and advice!
Once you’ve narrowed your list down to a few people, its important to keep in mind just a few more things about those individuals on your list.
Trust your instincts: Choose someone who you feel comfortable talking to and who you feel will listen without judgment. Do you have a friend or family member you have on your list that you feel is “supposed” to be there, but you don’t necessarily feel comfortable opening up to them at the moment? Don’t ignore that instinct.
Consider their mental health too: If the person you're thinking of confiding in is struggling with their mental health or going through challenging times, they may not be the best choice right now. It’s important to consider the feelings of others too. <3 If you’re not sure, its always recommended to ask if they have the space or capacity to listen and check in on them first.
Think about the support they can offer: It’ll be extra helpful if you can choose someone from the above list who can also offer you the type of support and guidance that you need. For example, if you need help finding a therapist, you can choose someone who can offer recommendations or who has experience going to therapy. Or if you just need someone who can listen and be there, you can choose a friend who has been a good listener in the past!
It's okay to take your time and really think on choosing the right person to talk to.
Step 2: Prepare Yourself
Before you have a conversation with your friends, family, or therapist about your anxiety or depression - it's important to prepare yourself emotionally. Talking about your mental health can be a difficult and emotional experience even if you don’t anticipate it to be that way. Here are some things you can do to prepare yourself for your conversation:
Practice self-care: Make sure you take care of yourself before the convo. This includes things like taking a walk, meditating, or doing something that you enjoy. This is important for clearing your thoughts and allowing for better emotional regulation.
Write down your thoughts: Writing down your thoughts can help you organize your ideas and feel more prepared for the conversation. You can also use your notes as a reference during the conversation if you feel nervous or forgetful - which is completely normal if that happens, by the way!
Anticipate the emotions: It's normal to feel nervous, scared, or even angry when opening up about your mental health. If you expect for this to happen, you can think about how you will manage them during the conversation - before it happens. Make sure to take the time to think about certain cues or triggers (ie: heart racing, racing thoughts, dizziness, etc) that this will be your sign to take a moment.
Decide on a safe space: Choose a location where you feel comfortable and safe. This could be your home, a park, or a quiet coffee shop. Consider what your needs are during this conversation. If you feel more comfortable being in an open, public space - make sure to plan ahead to do so. You may feel more comfortable in your own home or someone else’s. Maybe you prefer doing it over FaceTime or video chat instead - that’s totally okay too!
Take breaks: It's okay to take breaks during the conversation if you need to. If you feel overwhelmed or emotional, take a few deep breaths or ask to pause the conversation for a few minutes! You can also ask for support during these moments too - the other person may not necessarily know what is the best thing to do, so don’t be afraid to communicate that during this time as well.
Preparing yourself for this conversation will help you feel more confident and prepared, and can make the conversation feel much less daunting!
Step 3: Plan the Conversation
Planning what you want to say before the conversation can help you feel more confident and prepared as well! It can also help you communicate your thoughts and feelings more clearly. Here are some tips to help you do this:
Write down key points: Before the conversation, take some time to write down the key points you want to make. This can help you stay on track during the conversation and ensure that you communicate everything that you wanted to! Some ideas for key points include talking about how you’ve been feeling, share your personal experiences, ask for the support that you need (ie: helping you with tasks or offering emotional support)
Practice Beforehand: Practice what you want to say in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend. It might feel silly at first, but it can make a difference in your confidence approaching the conversation.
Choose your words carefully: If you’re opening up to someone who you may feel has been unhelpful with your mental health, it’s important to avoid using accusatory language or making assumptions about the other person's intentions. Allow others to have the opportunity to speak; you don’t want the other person to perceive this as an attack on their end.
Be honest: Honesty is key in all conversations! Practicing being honest while you’re alone will allow you with getting more comfortable sharing your feelings and being more vulnerable if that’s not something you’re completely comfortable with.
Set boundaries: If there are certain things you don't want to discuss, set boundaries ahead of time. Let the other person know what you are comfortable discussing and what you would prefer to keep private.
Step 4: Have the Conversation
Having the conversation can be nerve-wracking, but it's an important step in managing your struggles with anxiety or depression. Go into the convo with these things in mind:
Start with a clear and concise statement: Start the conversation with a clear and concise statement about why you want to talk. For example, "I've been feeling really anxious lately and I wanted to talk to you about it."
Use "I" statements: Use "I" statements to express how you feel. For example, "I feel overwhelmed and scared when my anxiety is really bad."
Ask for what you need: Ask for what you need from the other person. For example, "I need your support and understanding right now."
Practice active listening: Practice active listening by repeating back what the other person says and asking clarifying questions.
Listen actively: Listen to what the other person has to say and be open-minded to their perspectives and points of view. Try to understand their perspective and avoid interrupting them.
Take your time: Don't rush the conversation. Take your time to express yourself and allow the other person to respond. You can even take notes during if it helps you listen and communicate better.
Be open-minded: Be open-minded and willing to listen to the other person's perspective. You may learn something new or gain a new perspective on your situation.
Step 5: Follow Up
After the conversation, it's important to follow up with your loved one to check in on how you both are doing! <3
Show your appreciation: Show them appreciation for taking the time to listen and support you; mental health conversations can be heavy (and that’s okay)!
Be open to feedback: Be open to feedback from your loved one. They may have suggestions or insights that can help you manage your mental health.
Seek additional support if needed: If you feel like you need additional support, don't hesitate to seek help from a therapist or mental health professional. They can provide you with the tools and resources you need to manage your anxiety and depression.
Remember, following up after the conversation is important for building a supportive and understanding relationship. By continuing the conversation and seeking additional support if needed, you can better manage your anxiety and depression.
Final Thoughts
Having a conversation about your anxiety and depression with your loved ones can be difficult, but it can be a crucial step in managing your mental health and feeling supported and more connected to those you love!
